Value Honouring Choices Make Finding Motivation Easy!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 / Blog, Motivation To Change

I offer you a couple of questions to ponder: What will it take for you to do that one thing in your life you have been avoiding? What is holding you back? How might your life be different if you stepped up and did it?

Procrastination is a habit. When we face some task or decision we feel we “should” do, we very often avoid the topic. We find multiple excuses to do something else and are very clever about justifying our actions. Why is that? What is the hurdle that makes us so often stumble in our efforts to get the things we think we most want in life?

The answer is really very simple – we aren’t connected enough to the reasons that really matter to us – not the reasons that matter to our parents, to our children, to our boss, or to our friends but the reason that is compelling and significant to us, alone.

Much of life coaching is about helping people connect deeply to what they value. It is true that a fulfilling life is one where our decisions and choices are in line with what is important to us. When we cheat ourselves and make decisions based on the plans that other people have for our life, it is almost impossible to find the joyful and peaceful life we are seeking.

So,I challenge you today – make a list of what matters to you. If you look back over the successful decisions and choices you have made in your life, what strengths did you draw on? Where did you show huge resilience and courage when you thought you’d never made it through? Value words are words like adventure,contribution, family, intimacy, perseverance, solitude, growth and nature. There are many, many more you can find for yourself.

If you are struggling to find the words that work for you, look back over your life and notice the themes that are present in times of joy, fulfillment and success. Is it when you are outside in nature that you are the happiest? Are you most fulfilled when you are spending quality time with your family doing things loaded with adventure? Do you find the soul filling rest that you long for in the solitude of the forest, the sounds of a beach, or the comfort of your own bedroom? Are you lonely and feeling isolated and need more intimacy and human connection in your life?

For my clients, I encourage them to create this list and keep it in some readily available place. When there is a decision to be made or a choice that seems difficult, they refer to this list. The process is simple. If they love adventure and the decision gives them more of that, the decision is likely a good one. If it brings more fun, more human connection, or the potential for most rest and solitude, it will likely fill their soul. If the choice takes them away from many of these things, the decision definitely won’t feel right and won’t serve them in the long run. This process enables them to find clarity in their decisions and consistently brings them closer to the life that they want.

Last week I wrote about the specific carbohydrate diet and the potential impact it can have on your health and your life. For me, the motivation to do it is based on the highest things in my life that I value – freedom, faith, family, choices, health, independence, intimacy, and peace. By doing all I can to be healthy, I am free to do the things I want, I can spend amazing quality time with my friends and family, I get to choose my life rather than let my circumstances choose for me, I can be independent rather than dependent on others and I can find the peace that I long for in my life as I lean into my faith to find my way. My life has been transformed because of this concept.

So, I ask you again, what choices are you avoiding that are negatively impacting your life? If you more fully honoured what you value, what is the first thing you would change? Is there something in your health that you know needs to be addressed that you are consistently avoiding?

Margaret Evans R.N., B.S.N., C.P.C.C.
Registered nurse, Certified professional life coach

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