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Adversity: Living With What Is While Hoping For More
It is now August 5, 2009 and it has been 6 months since I made my first posting on my new blog. The reason for this time lapse has been my own health. Despite all my diet knowledge and my commitment to a healthy lifestyle, an ecoli infection I had over 20 years ago came back with vengeance to make my life challenging. The auto immune disease that resulted flared up and it has taken me 6 months to find my way through this story. I am pleased to say that I am now well and even more committed to sharing all that I have learned with others living the same story. Without the adjustments in my diet I have made over the years, I would not be well today and looking forward to enjoying our 4 adult children and our ever growing family.
So, what about you? What adversity are you facing that is getting in the way of you doing what you want to do? Are you letting it get you down to the point where you are unable to enjoy the positive things in your life? How do we all cope with adversity, anyway?
I am going to share a few of the things I have learned in the last 6 months in the hope that it will strike a cord with you and help you tackle some of the challenges in your own life.
1. I have learned to be quiet and still more. Rather than rush through my life and keep “doing” all the time, I have come to appreciate the benefit of moving slower and enjoying the journey more.
2. I have learned to live in my day to day life with more curiousity and less self judgment. Rather than let the voice of my saboteur say I am lazy, lame, or a wimp, I gently notice how I am feeling and look for answers with calm curiousity. I give myself lots of grace for the challenges in my life and offer myself lots of patience, as well. When I simply “wonder” what might be making my emotions jump all over the place, I seem to find the answers more easily.
3. I have learned to FEEL my life more. I have listened to many tapes by Pema Chodron about meditation and I have discovered a huge gift in this practice. She states in all of her books that we have 3 ways of coping with the old and painful stories of our life: we numb the pain over and wander through our life in a state of disconnect, we become consistently angry both with ourselves and others around us, or we fall into some form of addictive or needy behaviour. I realize that I use each of these strategies some of the time and invite you to be curious about which ones you use. If you sit quietly each day and simply notice what you are feeling, you will find it amazing to see what bubbles up from inside. This is the only way to heal old stories. You must allow yourself to FEEL them rather than ignore the messages your soul is offering.
4. I notice the places in my life where my response feels “over the top” and exaggerated. We all feel disappointment when something doesn’t work out as we had hoped but if we are devastated, this is the sign that an old story is oozing forward from our past. If we too quick to anger for some small frustration, there is a message is this, as well. What emotions are exaggerated in your life and what underlying stories might be hidden there? Rather than blurt out some nasty remark or reach for chocolate or booze to help you cope, take a few minutes to close your eyes and tune in to what you are feeling. You will be amazed at what you discover.
5. And, a word on the topic of HOPE. I love the word and my business logo and tag line attest to that. Where do you find HOPE? I intend to write a book shortly on the topic of hope as I have lots of thoughts on where we find it in the midst of the adversity of our life. However, my perspective has shifted a little because I realize that I must also find a way to live peacefully in today. It is important to HOPE that something will change in our life to make things better and to actively search for ways to make this happen. It is, however, equally important to find a way to be peaceful with what is happening to us today. If we push against our circumstance rather than embrace where we are, we are caught in the circle of striving and pushing which actually becomes simply another drain in our life.
6. For me, the biggest piece of managing my circumstance for the last 6 months has been my faith. When I felt lost and alone, by listening and praying, I found the answers and the next step of my journey. People, opportunities, books, and many other things appeared in places I never could have imagined. I am very aware of the bigger picture of my life and I am now able to find the gift and the learning even in the difficult adversity of my life. My wish for you is that you, too, can find your way to managing your adversity peacefully.
“JUST BECAUSE WE ARE SUFFERING, IT DOESN’T MEAN SOMETHING IS WRONG”